Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Damn victory sex feels great
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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