Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Please, let me fuck your mom
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I need to stop coming to work sober
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
