yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
