I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Randomize
