I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize