One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Randomize
