nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
