i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
