They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
They have beer where we have blood.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize