Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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