since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
