I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
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