I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
