id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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