Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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