the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
