What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
