Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
