take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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