Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
