guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
