help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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