Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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