I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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