where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
