Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Randomize
