from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
