How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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