We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
