Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
