I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
