Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
