my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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