Say something about gay babies.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
