i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
