drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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