We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Terrible idea I love it
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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