ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
