Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
