I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
