You made me cry and you don't even care
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
