I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
