then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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