I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
