Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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