Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
