And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
