Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
