I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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