So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
