I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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