i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
