The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
