She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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