I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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