are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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