I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
