it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
