Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
