Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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