Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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