so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You brought string cheese to the strip club
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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