Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I cockslap morals
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Randomize
