question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
