A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
