Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
